Cheers and Jeers...two weeks worth

Cheer: Friends finally meeting and it going really well.
Cheer: Time flying
Cheer: Love
Jeer: Snow and scary driving
Jeer: Worry and not being able to shake it
Cheer: Getting to spend more time than expected with Steven
Cheer: Good food
Cheer: A lot of time with amazing friends
Jeer: There's more money going out than is coming in it seems

Watching movies.
Originally a good idea that turned out fabulous.
Not wanting it to end.
Dance, Dance. Dance, Dance.
Euchre for hours.
Random songs.
Friends coming together.
Under-sleeping.
Laughing, lots of laughing.

Really though, it was an amazing weekend and even though I didn't leave town and I still had to work, it kind of felt like a vacation. It was great to get to spend time with both my best friends and my boyfriend. I look forward to being able to do it again and hope that the week flies by.

Earlier in class while bored out of my mind I wrote this absolutely ridiculous poem and had all intentions of posting it here for your entertainment, but then I was reminded of how quickly priorities can change in life. I had just been complaining in my "poem" about how long the class was taking and how awful it was to sit through and then I was reminded how important the minutes of the day are. When someone tells you that you are defying odds just by being alive and that you only have a projected six months to live every moment becomes precious. (I am not this person, please don't freak out). It also was a good reminded of how important it is to enjoy the time that you have with those that mean the most to you no matter how many rough patches you have had in life. It's a time to stop and think about how you impact so many people and how you have to do everything and anything that you want to. Don't keep putting it off until tomorrow because you never know how many tomorrows you will really get. Cancer is an absolutely terrible thing. I've dealt with its effects before and here I am yet again. I know you can beat the odds and I know miracles can happen, but at some point the miracles run out and sometimes the odds surely don't look very promising.

The speech

My best friend from Napoleon is getting married in August, which I know is a long ways away, but I'm the maid of honor. I have duties to fulfill (I'm not real sure what they all are), but I know that one of them is giving a speech at the reception. One in which every single person in that room will be listening to. Nerve racking? Yes. I have to make it good. I keep thinking about it and I have NOTHING. We have been best friends for 11 years, how is it that I have nothing to say. I'm not even sure where I want to start. Funny, serious, story, quote? I don't know. Lori and I don't have a typical friendship. Although we have been friends for so long and been through so much together we are rarely the serious type. We have hugged five times and serious conversations don't last long. We get each other through things in life with humor. We don't dig if someone wants to share they will and we go with the theory that some things are better left untold. It works. I just don't know what to say to her. I'm sure it'll come, but ideas are welcome.

Cheers and Jeers

First I would like to mention that this past week went RIDICULOUSLY fast. It's sort of a blur and I know I'm forgetting key parts. Bear with me.

Cheer: Having so much time to spend with friends. Sort of like the old days :)
Cheer: Getting paid from BOTH jobs this week. Both small checks, but still.
Jeer: Could it be any colder? There have been multiple times when I couldn't bend my fingers.
Cheer: Getting to see my boyfriend for the first time since coming back to school :)
Cheer: Only having classes 2 days a week. Such a joke.
Cheer: Getting to sleep in and stay up late again.
Cheer: Inside Jokes.

During a conversation with a friend today she said "you know I'm not really sure what it does take to make you happy" At first I thought man, am I that hard to please? But she did go on to say that it doesn't take much to make me happy. And I have been thinking about it, what are things that make me happy? Here are a few...


Messages in the morning.
Songs with meaningful lyrics
Deep conversation with friends
Time together
Sleeping in/naps
Cuddling
Laughing so much that your face hurts
Catching up with friends you haven't seen in a while
Inside jokes
Dessert
Sunny Days


I like to think that I'm a pretty easy person to please. You can have your own opinion if you want and you can share your opinion. I like to hear them :)

Cheers and Jeers

Cheer: Only having class 2 days a week. It's so nice to be a bum the other days!
Jeer: SNOW. Lots and lots of snow.
Cheer: Spending time with best friends that you haven't seen in a few weeks. It's good to catch up.
Cheer: A class all about doing kids arts and crafts!
Jeer: Distance
Cheer: A boyfriend who makes tough times incredibly easy to handle =)

Excuses, Settling, and Rage...

I am completely over my last relationship. There is not a single part of me that ever wants him back or misses what I had with him, but there is a part of me that still gets PISSED when I stop to think about what I went through with him. There are so many things that I settled for and so many excuses that I made. Let's explore a few.

He never looked forward to seeing me. He liked to spend time with me, but never was anxiously awaiting the day we could be together again. I always looked forward to seeing him. He was what made me happy, how could I not? Why was it not a red flag that he didn't share those feelings?

He never had time for me during the week. Getting him to spare 15 minutes of his day to ask how mine was, was too much. I decided it was ok because he was busy and all was well. Who doesn't have 15 minutes to give to their girlfriend? Dumb.

He made fun of my school and my major. It was the "easiest job in the world". Anyone can teach apparently. Forget the part about laws, state requirements, disorders, techniques, parents, administrators and all of that. Teaching was "easy". That is my dream. That is what I want to do with my life and I let him knock it. Why?

He didn't like my friends, so I took his side. They were MY friends. They are a part of me, they are who I am. Perhaps he didn't like who I was then. It's a wonder I came out of that relationship with any friends left. I'm thankful for the ones I do have.

We couldn't talk. I mean we talked all the time, but not about serious things. I would hold them all in until one day I would just break and it would all spill out. Communication is key and it was NOT our thing. I was afraid of what he would say, how he would judge me. How could he not care what was happening in my head? And why did I say it was ok that he didn't care?

My appearance. He didn't compliment me he told me how I was doing it all wrong. My clothes were never right, my hair was never right, I had too many moles, I needed to fix that and this and everything else. It's no wonder I'm self-conscious about things.

Cheers and Jeers

Cheer: New Years was amazing not sucky like I assumed it would be.
Cheer: Being blessed with an absolutely phenomenal man.
Jeer: Having to go back to school and switch lives once again.
Jeer: Praxis test next weekend that I had forgotten about...oops.
Cheer: A very successful and enjoyable Christmas Break.
Cheer: Friends to share joy with.

Happy New Year!!!

I would just like to take the time to forget any of my past blogs that have expressed hatred for New Years. I have had a few good experiences in the past years, my high school years, but this year took the gold. I had the best night a girl could ask for. It wasn't spent with a group and there wasn't an agenda. It was just me and another person who I very much enjoy the company of. We are officially dating as of last night and I couldn't be happier about it. He is absolutely phenomenal. I have never felt so instantly comfortable with anyone, I have never had someone that could make me feel so much better about myself without even trying. I am absolutely blessed to have met him and gotten to know him and I'm so happy that we are where we are now!