5 things in my mind as of tonight.

I don't know how to impress my supervisor. I know that I shouldn't have to work toward this, but I feel like she's looking for that one special thing and I don't have it yet. It would probably help if i had complete control of the classroom too...

I don't know if I'm happy to not be working as much and to have some time to myself, or if I miss working a lot and wish that I had more to do. It's a sad mix of both.

I want to grade papers...everyone complains about it, but for some reason I have always found it fun and now I'm not even getting to do that.

I have this inner desire to be very organized and productive and motivated to do a lot of things and to get ahead in life for once, but by the time I get home I really have no energy left to do any of it.

I'm doing so much better with the distance issue than I thought I ever could. Where this ability has come from I have no idea. I'd like to know because it could make me better at other things too I think.

Who would have thought.

Thinking about the future always gets me in trouble, but this week I have come to a realization that the one part that I thought would be the easiest is definitely going to be the hardest. Twenty-One years and I'm just now figuring it out when the clock is really ticking. That makes me wish that things would have been different in the past, but I know that is not an option. It just means I have to make up for lost time in these next few months. I'm ready for a fresh start and to be home for once, but it's going to be harder when push really comes to shove, than I ever thought it would be.

What a great day

to take a walk and notice your surroundings. After dinner tonight I'm going to the nature preserve to take a nice autumn walk. I would also like to take a few nice pictures with all of the colors changing and the sun shining. Perhaps I'll post a few here if some good ones come out of it.

And this is when...

... I struggle the most:

• When I have had a long week/day and just want to come home to a hug and a shoulder to rest my head on.
• When I want to go somewhere or do something that I can't find anyone else to do with me.
• When I need things fixed and or help figuring something out.
• When I'm alone at night and want someone to laugh with.

Tonight it's hard. Hopefully it doesn't get much harder.